Tuesday, July 6, 2010

only when im lonely

thoughts cloud my judgement as days run into weeks....you control every emotion with just one word....my joy and sorrow lays within your tongue....a drug you are....but only when im lonely...the need you bring into my spirit turns into a void once time begins to stretch....expanding into the depths of my soul.....so now and again i am lonely...you are always needed please dont misunderstand....but when iam left alone there is no one there to comfort....only my thoughts and memories of you....my company of joy which turns into sorrow...but ill live for our time together again....when we can be reunited....because missing you kills me....but only when im lonely


how many of us have them? funny question but a sad one as well. yesterday a homeboy asked me if i had any friends during a convo and i honestly couldnt think of any. im solo dolo. the few people i had called my friends i cant really say that anymore i guess. so much space in such a short period of time has grown between us. its funny how a misunderstanding can expose someone inner being. im no angel myself but iam someone who never forgets. and once ive been wronged or hurt, its not easy for me to turn around and act like nothing ever happen. like i said i can forgive but i cant forget. i wont make you relive it cuz i dont want to live the pain but dont be surprised if our interaction is different from that point on. with that said i must admitt i do miss some of the things we used to do together but i honestly feel that chapter of my life is over. even if the memories there are some really good ones, its time to move on......with or without you

Monday, July 5, 2010


i dreamed you last night...a wonderful dream...a perfect dream...and in it...there was just...you and me...no one else...thats probably why i loved it...cuz i miss you


my life is starting to slip from my hands it seems . i cant get a grip on my balance and i hate the feeling. my peace is limited making me unsure of everything. causing me to second guess the person i know and trust the most...myself.