Tuesday, August 11, 2009

staying focused

these last two weeks have been re-donk-cue-les. i was very unhappy with certain situations that have found their way into my circle. my spirit was very low and she was unhappy. but then a friend of mine reminded me of my goal and to always work toward it. as simple as it was, i had forgotten. you never let someone steal your joy or distract your focus. or let a negative situation or circumstance keep you from your destiny. its extremely hard to stay focused to reach an attainable goal and i think thats what got me. when you are on the path that God has for, YOUR path, everything that could possibly keep you from it will try to find a way into your life. you just have to be strong and not get distracted by it. sometimes thats the difference between failure and success. nothing worth having is ever easily gained. so i jumped back into my focus and got my shit back on track. killed two back to back photo shoots and ive been blessed to have two more in the works on top of my regular work load. so what can i say, my spirit has been uplifted. and of course when i look back on the past recent events, it wasnt anything i havent dealt with before in the past, so why did it get to me in the first place? probably because im actually working towards my own goals and an artist is always sensitive about their own work. all in all i welcome the hard and trying times because its only gonna make my success that much sweeter.

Monday, August 3, 2009

and now im better

before you guys i didnt know who i was. i was mean and selfish. ugly and cruel. only selectively showing my sweetness and kindness to those whom i deemed worthy. i closed myself off to the world. i was a bitch. short and simple. i didnt see much in the world i wanted or liked. but then you came along and a few years later your sister joined us and i have never felt more alive and loved and happy in my whole life. you guys filled a place in my heart that no one and nothing could. bryce you gave me purpose. before you i didnt really have a reason to get my shit together so i existed not lived. you boo made me see the goodness in everyone which allowed me to let my guard down just enough to move us forward in positive directions. along with the will and drive to stand on my own. bailey you gave me the strength to hold down my family and my business. beta you turned me into a role model, not just for you and boo but for anyone whos watching me. the things i went thru i knew i didnt want either of you to experience or feel. let alone be a victim of circumstance and feel as though you are a failure to the world, your family, or yourself. everything i do is for the two of you. you guys are always on my mind and when i see yall smile it makes everything life has ever done to me or put me thru worth it. i could never imagine or dream of a life i could live without my babies in it. i thank God for yall, who knows how i would have turned out if He had not blessed me with yall. when you were born bryce i became a mother, nurturing and understanding. when you were born bailey, i became a woman, strong, responsible, and respectable. i love you two forever and always, forever and always. i just pray i can continue to make yall smile and let you guys know just how much yall mean to me. bryce i love to see you write your name and bailey i love to see you assert yourself, my little diva. bryce allen and bailey nichole, you two are my loves and my life, and because of yall i know im better.

breath of fresh air

you are my time away from the world. time that is not there. tucked away into the emptiness of space where we can go. you make me forget all that is. which is everything because when we are together, all there is, is you and me. like a much needed vacation or moment to myself. no drama, no shouts, no tears, no stress. any problem that id given second thought to disappears when youre around me and once again all is right in my world. all is right because you bring me into our world. and i cherish every moment spent there. in an unforgiving world of disappointment that strangles the very life from me at times.....you...yes you.... are my breath of fresh air bringing me new life. preparing and strengthening me for another day...i cant wait to breathe again