Monday, July 20, 2009
where we go again. another night with me watching the wall. quietly singing to myself. singing out all my thoughts to release them from my mind and free my spirit so she can rest. and so i can be at peace with myself and the world. my thought process is extremely different then most that sometimes i find myself enslaved by it. i zone out and get lost so i sing to come back to the world and free my mind. but tonight its not just that. tonight i have so many thoughts, my head is clouded and its all a blur. meaning my songs have no words. just notes which makes me hum more then sing. nerve settling all the same but takes a lil more time to clear out the mind. comes out kinda jazzy more so then a ballad but still music from my soul. most people dont even know that i sing. my joy. i passed that joy to my children. my son tries but his notes arent always there. still music to my ears though. but my daughter goes note for note when shes not being silly. i was the same way coming up only i kept it to myself. my daughter doesnt posses those fears i did, she puts on a show. i admire that fearlessness and fire in her. i admire my sons willingness to try also, regardless of the expected outcome. but im a singer. emotionally and nervously because it brightens my spirit and calms my soul.